seems to be a word people use to describe people that somehow have come to be born with extraordinary powers.  But how can you call Picasso talented when he spent his childhood drawing? And Leanardo da Vinci spent all his money on notebooks and paper, which was expensive in those days. So if they spent all their lives working on something like that how come they are called talented? I think it’s because people use that word to pass off those people as not hard working, or to justify that they themselves aren’t producing works of art making millions. Maybe… i think everyone is talented in the sense that if we all find what we love and drive at it, then we will become adept at it. But some people have more passion and drive than others… is this talent?

I found a type writer the other day and wrote a five page letter almost immediately, which i loved doing. Type writers are the middle line between pencils and computers. Faster than a pencil, still personal, but without all the distractions of a computer… like blogs. I just wish i had a journal which i could type write in.

Speaking of journals i bought two moleskines. One your standard black ruled one, and the other one, soft cover with graph paper in it. I love the graph paper one, though i’m not going to use it till the other one falls completely apart. Duct tape is holding it together right now though. So far.

I find myself in bouts of not wanting to conquer the world… is that good or bad? Maybe i consider it too important to be famous. While i believe that the principle of changing one heart rather than touching many is right… touching many is so much more fun, isn’t it? I don’t know, but i think i like the look of the smiles full of recognition and pride on the faces of Pixar executives… Wow, this is sorta selfish. But really… it’s true. And i’m a true born cynic. So here goes: I only want to become famous so i can not worry about money and so that i can be recognized for my work. I want to change people’s ways, but i also enjoy dark things, such as The Prestige and The Dark Knight. I find myself loving a dark sense of humor, which is destructive to one’s soul. But when i stop i find myself becoming cheesy and cheapened and without motivation. I mean, i  need to find a balance between my sense of cynicsm and humor and Catholicism. Though it means no comprimises on Catholicism… well, i think i’d best let this unravel itself with my life and get back to refining the art i’m gong to use to change people’s hearts…

I wonder if when you touch the right people’s hearst you get recognized… Pixar retains it’s integrity by not letting anyone but approved people touch the projects. And they are amazing… but not cheapened by fame… Hannah Montana makes me laugh on a side note :)


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